It takes four years. At least it took me four years. That's because my goal was to completely change the way I worked. On top of that I wanted to feel healthier. I wanted to let go of energy that was making me sick with stress and migraine.
Four years ago, almost to the day, I was sad and exhausted. I had spent the last years trying to help care for my mom as I watched her die slowly of Alzheimer's. Everyone was in a panic over the virus. Then I was mandated to close my practice. So then my income ended abruptly.
Four years ago I became instantly committed to making deep changes.
This isn't the first time I've decided to heal my life. It's the nature of my work to heal and change! Previous changes felt real and deep. Looking back, however, I see I was skimming the surface. I had no other choice at the time. You never know until you know.
Right now I am looking backward. I'm at a finishing point of sorts. I've done a big chunk of work and I've reached some goals. Four years from now I may look back and say this day was just the beginning.
I want to tell you something about those years and days of working toward a goal. I reached my goal hundreds of times. I healed myself hundreds of times. I met a glimmer of my true self hundreds of times. Until, piece by piece, the glimmers became sparks and the sparks ignited new levels of brightness throughout my energetic self.
Truths came out of my mouth; ideas popped into my head; pain in my head subsided. These were moments.
It took one moment for each spark, and each moment was amazing and infinite. It took four years for me to notice that the sparks had merged into a new light body, able to hold a new vibration of energy. That means the energy had translated to solid changes that could be seen and felt.
This is how it works for your healing process as well!
When people first come to see me they often ask, "How long will it take? How many sessions?" It's hard to answer because we have to know: How long will what take?
It will probably take till the end of one session to feel lighter and in less pain. How long will it take to clear the build-up of old energy and to build new patterns of activity, thought, and energy? How could we know that?
How many years has it been building? What measures have you taken in the past? What will you do every day to feel better? What exactly do you want to heal? What part of your energy feels blocked? How will you know when you feel better?
I wanted to say It will take four years, not to sound pessimistic and discouraging. I said it as a kind of rebellion against marketing phrases like, "Four steps to ending back pain" or "Three foods you must eat to stop anxiety" or "Ten pounds in ten days."
Of course we all want to know those four steps and those three foods. I do, too! At the same time, we all know the back pain probably won't end as soon as we take the four steps. If we do lose ten pounds in ten days, we know there's a pretty good chance it will come back ten days later.
We all say, "Oh I know it's a process and it won't happen over night." Notice though, if there's a part of you that really does want and expect it to happen overnight. If so, you're not alone. I catch myself at it all the time :-) It's ok. Just notice and remind yourself that every little moment counts.
Also ask yourself this: What do you really want? Do you really want the "healing process?" Ask yourself what you really want, aside from the FOMO and promises.
Do you want to get to the root cause of your back pain? That might take a month or two. It might take trial and error. You might start and stop. It might take years.
You might never reach the point of zero pain. You might then have the opportunity learn true gratitude, for having taken the journey, and to have grown in unexpected ways!
Maybe what I just described sounds like a pointless waste of time. Maybe you're not into healing journeys, and finding a root cause sounds like another vague and alternative promise. Maybe you just want the pain to stop. Let that be ok, then. Get the prescription from your doc and spend your time and energy in ways that make you happy.
Whatever you choose, choose it, own it, and go with it!
Here is what I DON'T suggest, though:
Try not to mix the two choices I mentioned above. It isn't efficient to choose to heal your pain naturally, from the root cause ... but then call it a failure if your actions don't result in juicy euphoric pain-killing, like a drug.
Ask yourself this:
When you're asking how long it will take, are you asking how long that natural healing will take to kick in? Are you comparing it to how long an Excedrin takes to kick in? (20-30 minutes) Or the anesthetic when you're getting a procedure? (before you can count to 10)
Natural healing doesn't kick in. It eases in. You feel it in blips and glimmers. (Yes, they kick right in! For a moment, you are healed!) Then the adventure continues. It spirals and expands. It backslides.
You learn to appreciate the days that have no glimmer. You learn to give yourself a break, a hug maybe, when you wake up feeling bad. You don't put yourself down because the pain is still there. Instead you find something to feel good about. Even if it's only the cheery citrus-smelling soap you got yesterday that's waiting in the shower.
One day, like my day today, you wake up and you look back to yesterday, or to four years ago, doesn't matter, and you say wow I'm a new version of me! And you remember the previous versions, all of you. And it hits you! You are watching them all at once from the Big You. Your infinite self.
You might suddenly think, "Omg I knew this all along. Why did I think it was not the truth?"
Maybe you know this already, or just now realized it as I said it. Then how long will it take to heal? You just did.