A Taste of My Own Medicine
Recently I travelled to Sedona, Arizona. I wanted to feel the energy of the Red Rocks energy vortexes, vortices if you prefer. I spent hours researching energy healers to visit. I wanted a piece of turquoise jewelry to help commemorate my trip and heal my throat chakra. I was so excited!
My friend and I were actually staying near Phoenix, so we had a bit of a drive. Since we had only planned one day in Sedona, we meant to get an early start. My friend's alarm didn't go off, though. We left late and I was angry. We barely made it on time to the energy healer I'd made an appointment with.
The person I'd chosen had a long list of qualifications. Plus she lived in the energy of Sedona. She had miraculously had an opening for me. I had been feeling I really needed an energy boost from someone with a higher vibration than me. I breathed a sigh of relief as I plopped into a cozy chair in her office, amethyst and dream catchers galore.
That relief, however, quickly turned to disappointment and then resentment as I realized I'd wasted my money. In response to my questions about how to proceed with the next steps of my life, she began her long list of advice. She listed for me all the things I HAD BEEN DOING for the past couple of years during the pandemic. I started crying when I realized everything the was telling me was something I'd already known. She was nonplussed because "healing" usually involves tears.
Because we'd left so late, my friend and I hadn't had lunch before the psychic, so we had to get lunch before hitting the shops. Finally, finally we walked into the first store. Having never been to Sedona, I hadn't realized there would be lots of knock-off Native American jewelry. I felt rushed and again annoyed. I gave up on buying something that day because I wanted to get to the vortexes and it was already late afternoon.
The first sacred site we went to, the Airport Mesa, was crowded with people and there was no ready parking space. This was not feeling spiritual at all. We headed down to Bell Rock, but had to do a few turnarounds before we found the right trailhead.
It was now 6:30 pm, with sunset due at 7:05. The sky was not particularly beautiful, so the only thing significant about sunset that day was that the sun would, in fact, set and it would soon be dark. My friend is neither a nature-lover nor interested in energy healing. She was a good sport. I was feeling sad, though, as the reiki started flowing in my hands and arms in response to the vortex. I was amazed by this, because we were only at the bottom, and the energy center was all the way at top of the rock! I wished I had a like-hearted buddy to share the experience with.
I was telling myself to let go of that and enjoy, when three young women came up behind us. They were giggling and talking shit about someone they'd met last night. They were laughing and taking selfies as if they were in a bar instead of a sacred site in nature. Again I wanted to cry. There was no one else around, except these three walking 10 feel behind us. Why?!!
My friend was also chatting about something irrelevant. I snapped, and super-unspiritually lost my temper. She looked surprised, but did honor my request for a few minutes alone before there was no more light to see the path.
I walked uphill for a few minutes, then sat down and took off my sneakers. As I sat there, finally in peace, buzzing with the strong, palpable energy, I realized that I was being given a taste of my own medicine. I always tell my clients and reiki students to look inside for their answers. Here I was, desperate for answers from a psychic, a piece of turquoise, and a giant rock. To top it off, I was angrily blaming a good friend when the answers didn't appear!
I laughed out loud and felt gratitude for the lesson building in my heart.
I looked up and saw a last, lonely cloud, glowing faintly golden from the last bit of light. It was shaped like a fish. Suddenly I remembered that earlier the psychic, also an astrologer, had told me she was amazed by
the amount of water energy, Pisces, that she'd seen in my chart. The representation of Pisces is two fish, not one. I felt that fish was meant for me, alone in that moment.
Here it was, when I stopped trying to find it, the gift I'd been hoping for all day.
I had been disappointed when the new age healer had told me to do all the things I'd already done. In this
moment, though, I understood that in a whole new way: It meant I was on the right path. She had told me to keep going exactly as I had been. She had told me the Pisces/healing energy was my life path, and I could and should walk more confidently on it. She affirmed that all my choices had been in alignment with
my true self. And I had been doubting that as I walked into her office.
When I was looking outside, and letting myself be shaken and annoyed by the those around me, I couldn't hear guidance properly. I had to sit down on that rock alone and in silence. I had to let go of anger and worry. I had to feel gratitude. I had to find some kindness for my friend and those noisy women, and to
recapture my own integrity.
Letting go of anger and worry, practicing gratitude and kindness, walking your own path: those are the principles of reiki. Reiki is strong medicine, and while I was busy grasping aimlessly at spiritual tokens, I'd forgotten to take it.